John Cazzogratz
You Disgust Me!

Thank God for me, because if it weren’t for me all you guys would be in big trouble. Think of women literally as real life blow up fuck dolls. That is really all they are, and that is really all you should see them as. They just feel really good to physically play with, to jerk around with, and that is it. What are you going to do, invest time and emotions, and oh I love you, you complete me, I need you, I want you, a part of me has died? Are you out of your mind?

I know some people who have steady girlfriends, and I call them assholes right to their faces. They are so distraught when their girlfriend says, “Um, I cannot talk to you anymore.” All the nights before, it is “I love you,” “I want to be with you forever”—and the next morning, “I cannot see you anymore,” “You are dead to me,” “I am sorry,” “I don’t love you anymore.” Who the hell needs that shit? Who wants to hear that shit? Who wants to put up with that shit? Who wants to be a part of that?

I know lots of Romeo and Juliet motherfuckers. You see, women are earthbound and all that shit, but they are chemically imbalanced. They are completely irritation. Completely illogical! They are purely emotion, and have rancid thought patterns. Women are pure fucking fire and radiation. Giant fuck toys that are wonderful to play with—but just play with them. Don’t let them play with you. A woman can manipulate and play with your mind and emotions, and you won’t even know what is causing you to feel a particular way.

Don’t trust them. Woman, wo-man, do you know what that means? It is Latin for man’s enemy. Don’t ever underestimate how manipulative and malicious women are. They can get you. I just fuck them. It is very easy to meet a woman and sleep with her at least every other night. You have to go different places, have some bullshit stores, switch it up a little, but it is wonderful to bullshit with a woman, and then bang them out. Have sex with the same woman for a week. But one week is the absolute maximum. After a week, you must cut it. Never again. After a week of sex, that’s when women are the most dangerous. Through no fault of your own, unconsciously you are at risk of becoming attached to them because you are stuck in character. And when a woman has a hold on you, it is her decision to hold on tight, or let go. You no longer have any sort of power.

Besides all of the obvious mental and physical differences, only one thing really makes women special, and you never really learn about it in depth. You must explore for yourself. What do you mean what am I talking about? I’m talking about pussy. And the female sex organ, the pussy is a very complex animal. A pussy consists of the mons, the hood of the clitoris, the clitoris, the urethra, the inner lips, the outer lips—or as some like to say the labia majora, the labia minor, the urinary opening, the sugar magnolia vaginal opening, and the perineum. The anus is only approximately an inch away, but an asshole is nothing unique, we all have one, and it certainly isn’t as complex. It’s good to know how to play with a bitch’s asshole, but it’s better to know about the bush.

“Cazzo, why don’t you tell the story of your freshman year, and the reason you are a God on campus.”

Do you really want to hear that story again?

“For me, that story never gets old, and a bunch of the younger guys still haven’t heard it yet. Just fucking tell the story already!”

It was my freshman year of college. Now when I was in high school, of course I was the big man on campus with all the ladies, but when I came to college, I was in the same boat as everyone else and I really didn’t know anyone. I also started to drink a fair amount—and when I say that I mean I started drinking heavily. I remember some nights before gaining a tolerance I would just black out, and not even remember faces, or how I got home, or where I was, or what I did.

Three months into my freshman year, I had known just about all the girls who lived in my dorm, Dupont, and three beautiful girls in particular I joked around with, and I saw them every day. We would talk, and bullshit a bit, I would always tell them how I think the three of us should fuck, and they would laugh and giggle like I was just joking.

You see, before I joined a fraternity, I never had any male friends. I would only talk to, and associate with women. One night I convinced the girls to go out with me to the College Deli. Why the College Deli? Well, that was at the time the only bar that would serve anybody with money alcohol; they didn’t give a shit about how old you were. So, I convinced these three girls to go out with me, and we’d all have a great time getting completely wasted.

When I tell you I put an entire bottle of Southern Comfort into my eighteen year-old body, and on top of that countless beers, and an occasional tequila with Tabasco, I most certainly did. So I was absolutely beyond drunk, beyond wasted—and to this day, that night is the most I have ever drunk in my entire life.

Now one of the girls, Lisa, Lisa Paul was my favorite of the bunch. On a scale from one to ten, this bitch was a fucking fifteen. And we were all very drunk, and I convinced Lisa to take me back to her dorm room and let me spend the night with her because my roommate was sick with a fever, and I didn’t feel like inhaling his germs. I don’t know what I said, but it was a brilliant on the spot concoction. It just so happens that Lisa’s roommate was visiting her parents for the weekend, so she had no problem with me staying in her friend’s bed.

We ended our night, left the Deli, and I said goodbye to the other two girls. When we got back to her room, without saying anything we each took off all of our clothes and fucked and fucked and fucked. It was wonderful. I don’t know how my dick worked, but I squeezed off two loads wasted. It was a superhuman night with a wasted track star. Then we both passed out completely naked on top of the sheets.

Now remember, I told you I was really drunk, and at the time I was eighteen so I really wasn’t used to drinking that much. Well that doesn’t mean that I was stupid. When I woke up, I noticed that I shit and pissed all over her bed. I shit and pissed everywhere—it was fucking disgusting and smelt like someone died. Now this is the kind of thing that could have destroyed me. It was impossible for me to clean it up, I mean there was shit everywhere and if she told her friends John shit and pissed her bed, it would have spread like wild fire and I would have become a plague instead of a God on campus.

Now she still happened to be passed out, and with a sheer stroke of genius, I started to smear some shit on her ass, and around her asshole. I gently moved her closer to the shit and piss. Then I wrote a note that said, “Never ever talk to me again. You disgust me!” And I just left.

That poor bitch never said another word to me again, and she obviously never told anyone, because her friends would ask me what happened between us, and why we didn’t get along anymore, and when I told them to just ask her, they said they had tried, and all she would say is she did something extremely embarrassing while I spent the night. I did such a great job that this poor bitch felt humiliated to tell her friends, she really believed she was the one who shit the bed, and she would often write me little letters of apology slipping them under my door at two or three in the morning.

She wrote that she didn’t know what happened to her that night, she can’t believe she lost control of her bodily functions, it never happened to her before, she is extremely sorry for everything, she hopes I never tell anyone, and she hopes one day I could forgive her and we can once again be friends. Brilliant right? You guys would have cracked under the pressure and fucked yourselves.

It’s an absolute joke. Come on, getting girls, getting pussy is ridiculously easy. Let me tell you guys something. Let me tell all of you something, and listen up. If you can’t get girls in college, you will never get girls. College is even easier than the real world. And you don’t have to be a triple ‘G’ like me—Gorgeous-Greek-God.

I’ve been with girls, had sex with them, then just grabbed the biggest books I could find and say, ‘I am going to study for a little while,’ or ‘I have something I must do.’ My freshman year I always ‘needed to go out to the library,’ or ‘I might be out for a little while.’ I never said, ‘I’ll see you later.’ Let them wait around; let their wheels spin.

Then I’d go see another girl, or another few girls, sometimes bullshit a little, then screw; sometimes just screw. You guys really don’t know do you. You have no idea. I know when girls want me, or when someone is attracted and drawn to me. I’ve been shopping for groceries, seen a girl holding a basket, just doing some shopping; and sometimes they are 19, sometimes they are 25, sometimes they are 32 years old—it doesn’t matter. They are always out, they are everywhere, and all you have to do is be aware of them. Notice them. Complement them then insult them.

And it’s all about the opening. You have to feel women. You know what I’m talking about. It’s a problem for a lot of people. Just breaking the ice? People think a lot about the first few things they are going to say to someone, or wish they approached someone in a particular manner. All I’m saying to you is be aware of women, and be conscious of your environment.

In a grocery, I try to observe everything. Her outfit is key. I love those tight little thin sweatpants with a thong or better yet just a little crack popping out. And those tight little sweat shirt jackets. It doesn’t even matter what color. You know those amazingly hot women’s running gear, they wear that when they are “running around” town, going to the mall, going to have a quick brunch, going tanning, or just feeling a bit lazy.

The great thing about those jumpsuits is you know they’re coming off. That’s their interim gear—they aren’t going to wear that when they “go out.” So you must approach different women different ways. Even married women believe it or not are very approachable. All women are little sluts.

I love the women who are trying to find themselves. The women you can just touch an apple at the same time with, convince them they should have it because it is a beautiful apple and meant for them. Then just start talking about chance, and luck, and the next thing you know, you have been invited back to their house to cook with them, you enjoy a lovely dinner, you fuck for a few hours, it is incredible, and then you go home to change your clothing, freshen up, and maybe you run into someone else later on. When you have the sent on you, you are irresistible. A woman knows if you have a woman, or if you having sex, and she wants to sample your goods, or pin you down. Just as we talk about all the notches on our belt, women feel like they conquered us when they’ve fucked us—and that is fine. Let them feel that way. Let them feel as though there is something they should conquer. It is all in the chase, all in the challenge. Make yourself the interesting and elusive challenge.

Are you guys following me, or am I talking to a bunch of fucking rocks? Guys, I don’t know how to explain it to you in any other way than women are sexual beasts, and if your pheromones are just right, and they feel you it’s on. It’s really that simple. Now some women, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but it’s all right because I wouldn’t want to fuck them anyway—but there are some women that want nothing to do with me. I know this from the first second I see them.

Then there are other women that I know just from their eyes that if I follow them to the bathroom, or outside, I don’t even have to say anything—everything is understood. I just know that only moans and heavy exchanging of bodily fluids will go on. If you’ve never just completely ravished a bitch, or fucked one spontaneously you don’t know what you are missing? What’s my most spontaneous experience? I have so many, I can’t answer that, but I will tell you I fucked few women in the street, or on a sidewalk, or park bench.

I’ll tell you a crazy story. I was in Greece. I was on the island of Crete—the cradle of civilization. And let me tell you, I don’t want you guys to go there because my family is from there, and although it’s modern, it isn’t super fucking commercialized and destroyed yet. It really is quiet and beautiful.

You know what they say about people on the island of Crete is true. No on fucks with a person from Crete—no one! Not the police, not the government, not anyone. And they live simply, they live happily, and they thoroughly enjoy life. That and they all have guns and like to shoot them into the air for shits and giggles. Forget about it! A Greek wedding on the island of Crete sounds like a hostile terrorist take over. And I still don’t know where all the bullets that get shot into the air go. I’ve never seen a single one come down, or fall out of the sky.

Now, everyone on the island isn’t as built as I am, but everyone like me is tall and dark. Even better yet—most of the women in Crete are tall, dark, thin, and gorgeous. Sure they have a little hair hear and their, but trust me it’s primal and sexy. So I was staying at one of my father’s properties in Crete. I’ve spent just about every summer of my life in Crete. For me, there is no place like Greece. Especially since I’m American, but I’m also Greek, and I can speak Greek. That is a fucking long ball.

Back to my story! Once, I went into a local bar. I saw an exotic goddess. She was drinking red wine. I walked over to her, she handed me her glass, and she said in Greek, “Can you finish that for me? I don’t particularly care for it, but I can’t see wasting wine. I much rather be out under the night with you.” We went outside, walked for about five minutes just looking at each other, occasionally kissing—we found a secluded street, and the next thing you know I had some of the best sex of my life with some chick in the street.

It gets even better. After I don’t know how long, but after really going at it, I was sweating, I was greasy, I smelt like an animal—it was awesome—just pure jungle fucking—she turned her back to me and I realized she was all cut up and bleeding.

I took a harder look under a street lamp, and she had three pieces of green glass lodged into her back. I wasn’t sure how large. This is when I was still kind of naïve and caring, I said to her, “My Athena, you have three pieces of glass lodged into your back? Why didn’t you tell me to stop?” She said to me, “It hurt so much, and everything felt so fucking good that it was amazing. I did not want the moment to ever end. I had a perfect balance of extreme pleasure and pain.”

I proceeded to pull out the glass for her, and she didn’t move a muscle. When I was finished, she put on all of her clothing; she gave me a big kiss, pinched my dick, and said, “See you soon! Thanks for everything!” It was awesome. I always have a great time in Crete. Those people know how to have fun. They also know that sex is sex. It is a part of life. It is wonderful. I’ve seen that girl since, and everything is comfortable, understood, and perfect. No headaches exist between us.

You know what, you fucking freshmen are making you sick! You know not all of you are going to be able to live in the house next year. Everyone, and I mean everyone—oh, get ready, because you guys fucked up big. Tomorrow night, we have a party, and each and every one of you better bring a girl. She cannot be a college student; do you understand me? She cannot be from here. You keep talking and I’m going to make it mandatory for everyone to bring two bitches. I’m not asking you to fuck them, and I’m not giving you a physical criteria. I just want to see you my boys’ get their tips wet. Get bitches, local bitches, out of state bitches, older bitches—just get bitches to the party. If you don’t? Well, if you don’t, me along with all the other guys having seniority in the fraternity are going to remember your failure to do so, and your future in this fraternity will be limited. This isn’t a joke. Find some fat bitches just to get the sent on you!

This isn’t a joke. I’m not going to be around forever, but I’ll be damned if Sigma Chi doesn’t remain the best fraternity on campus for ions to come! You guys know what you need to do. I’m out of here! You guys are pathetic and I wasted enough time trying to enlighten you. Right now, I’m disgusted I have to call you little punks my frat brothers. Go out and make Sigma Chi proud!